3

Confidence is slowly becoming more a part of me that I expected. By now, I expected me to fall apart, to ask for a couple of days off or to just call in sick due to the extreme anxiety/drama/crapamount. But no, I am actually feeling good about all this. Maybe it's because of all the advice and support from my friends. Maybe it's because I'm not letting myself think about the worst, as I used to do (thanks Juaninamillion). Maybe it's because perspective has actually kicked in.

Have I said it before? If she is so much like me, and feels about me the same way I feel about her, the only reasons why she would say no are so powerful, so daunting, so vast, that it'd be ok.

The fear of the "no", the fear of rejection, of the unknown, of the reaction I might have if this thing that I'm doing -putting everything on the line for something that could make me happy- doesn't work, it would be fine. I will be fine. Everything will change and will transform into something that could, maybe one day, be put on the line again.

But I refuse to live a life where I cannot risk it all for something. That would be lowering my standards, and, that way, lowering myself.

Do I have fears? Yes, of course. Not fearing anything would make life too vain, too boring. What would we fight against then? I just have to deal with them whichever they are, as best as I can, and then I'll be alright. Nothing can haunt you if you're doing your best, right?

The very foundations of this situation we have created still stand, no matter how easily we forget them; this is all for the best of all of us. Day 2 just started. Wish us all luck.