Don't Worry...

This 'one post a day' isn't gonna become a thing. But I have felt the need to set things straight now that my head isn't going crazy from all the pressure, deadlines, questions, waiting.

The worst thing about a war is not knowing what is really going on. I don't know what has been going on in Nemesis' life for the past 2 days. And I was supposed to, at least in my head. I've been waiting for something that has been evasive at best, and every time it has avoided me, I have had trouble swallowing the first few bites of the new situation. Luckily, at some point, perspective kicks in and I see things more clearly. And they get clearer and clearer every day... until the next deadline or change of plans, at least.

I'm gonna drop the ifs and the maybes for this one. Do I know what has happened? No. That concept is simple enough, right?

What I know is that Nemesis is facing a life-changing decision; not only for her, but for her daughter, and for me. I think she has, indeed, started walking down that path. And I know, because I've felt something similar recently, that asking anybody to do something they would never do if you didn't ask them can become quite a weight on your shoulders. This path can be quite a bitch, I tell you. When that happens, you have to deal with it in any way you can. Sometimes it involves getting smashed and regroup later, or cry for hours until exhaustion takes over and you can think about it with a steady mind. Or meeting some friends, talk about it, go home, be back on square one again, and then repeat until the cycle breaks and throws you (hopefully) on the right direction.

When I screwed up my knee and I was going to my first day of physical therapy, I remember thinking about how awful it was, that I screwed up my knee age 27, and had to have surgery, and that maybe it wouldn't be 100% fine again. And then I walked into the room: Some thirty something guy whose legs ended over the place where his knees where; a kid, barely in his twenties learning how to walk with articulated, metallic legs... How dared I think that my situation was hard?

Our pain hurts the most because it is us that feel it. But that doesn't make it right.

So yeah, my situation, my waiting is a bitch. So what. Nemesis' situation might be her hardest yet. My friends are all watching out for me, and I thank you for that, but I understand that Nemesis is taking a couple of days off. She needs to have a clear mind, and that takes some time, that requires some kind of a process.

Sometimes waiting can sting, but only for the first few minutes.

From the beginning, all I asked Nemesis was to try and find in herself if she would be happy giving us chance. I never gave her any deadlines because it's an important decision. There have been, however, many deadlines. The latest was hers. But this "project" needs to be right when it's delivered. I don't want it to be rushed. I know she's working on it.