I hate...

…that I’m not more experienced at this boyfriend stuff.
…that I don’t know how to compartmentalize better.
…that you’ve chose to disappear from my reach today.
…that every ding, or beep that my computer does, I need to check if it’s you, saying something terrible or something great.
…that both things could make me feel worse.
…that I’m this insecure.
…that I sometimes can’t get over my own pain to help you with yours.
…that when I do, I don’t seem to help at all.
…that you use my moments of weakness to not trust me.
…that sometimes you don’t believe me.
…that I’m trying but I don’t feel like I’m getting any better.
…that I have to blog about it because telling just one person feels too intimate.
...that I'm not there with you now.
…thinking that I might not be good enough.